I know that at times things become difficult. You start to feel run down or like you're not achieving anything or have not achieved anything. The worst thing for this is Social Media, such as Facebook/Instagram. Because here, people only post the BEST parts of their life. When you scroll through Facebook and every single post is people going on expensive holidays (which they most likely worked overtime every week for the entire year to afford, but they won't ever say that) or buying a house or getting married etc. It gets very easy to feel down this way. Let me tell you, I have felt this myself on countless occasions. I'm going to list a few reasons why you should not feel undervalued and a few ways to hopefully increase your view on yourself.
Number 1 - You're still alive
It may sound simple. It may seem easy to say, yet think about it. You are still here! You have 1000s of days to get what you want in life. It may not come easy, it may not come quickly but for every day your are alive, you have a chance! When you wake up in the morning, don't think about what your have not achieved yet in life, wake up and smile and ask yourself HOW you're going to achieve these things. Life's unpredictable and it's not worth worrying about the lives of others who you think are doing better than you. Worry about your life and your goals. You are alive so go and live!
Number 2 - You have a home
You have a roof over your head. A warm place for you and your family. Could be your mum's basement, a council flat/house a bungalow or a giant great big stupidly oversized mansion. It doesn't matter. We are all made to believe that we NEED the big lovely houses, with loads of space. We don't. We NEED to keep the rain off of us, we NEED to keep warm and we NEED security. Never let anyone shame you for where you come from or what you live in. It's your home, your space, own it.
Even when you feel like you don't have a home, or you feel lost, there is help and believe me someone will come running if you ask for help. Never give up!
Number 3 - You still have dreams
Do you know why you get so upset when you look at people succeeding or having something you deem 'more' than you? You will be told it is jealously, it's not. It's longing its the knowledge that you have a dream in your head which you long for. When you see others with it your brain starts poking at you to tell you to get up and go get it. Then frustration and anxiety kick in as you try to figure out a way to go get what you want. It is never easy, don't get me wrong but for aslong as you still long for a dream in your head you can achieve it!
Number 4 - You have kids
Some of us do, some of us don't and almost all of us want to have atleast one, eventually. If you already have a kid then you have already achieved one of life's most incredible journeys and achievements! You may have days where you think you're doing it all wrong or days where it's all too much, there may even be days where you just want to scream at them, these are all okay. You're doing fine. Everyone loves to put their opinions forward, doesn't mean they are right. There is absolutely no definitive "right" way to bring up a child, aslong as you show them love and provide for their needs, you will be their hero, because that's what you are.
Number 5 - Smile
It's easy to fake a smile. Genuine smiles are a rarity. Although I find, even at my worst, I will always find a way to make myself smile, or laugh. It may not be the right way to do it, but I will get there eventually. Find something that will always make you smile or laugh. It's easy to say "there is nothing, I'm too sad" I promise you there is ALWAYS something. Be it a TV show or just a funny and happy memory. Sometimes a laugh or a smile is enough to bring your head above water even if just for a moment to catch your breath.
Number 6 - Money can't buy you happiness
While technically true, money can be ofcourse helpful. A lot of the reasons for being depressed or anxious comes from not having money to do things or afford bills/rent. Although there are ways of keeping these costs down. For one, on this blog I explain how to do a weekly shop for as cheap as possible while maintaining a very healthy diet. Let go of the idea that you need money to accomplish anything. I've never had money, still some of my best memories are wrapping up some ham sandwiches and a couple of bottles of water and heading down the beach for the day. Going to the park and joining in a game of football. Going to a free outdoor gym, community centres, drawing, Basketball etc. There are many activities that are free or cost next to nothing. You're happiness is not determined by how big and fancy your activities are. You are the only person that needs to be happy doing something.
Number 7 - Move if you need to
Do not stay in one place. If you're not happy where you are living, move. I moved from Brighton to Bristol, although I do love Brighton, the prices of rent and cost of living were just too much and made it unrealistic to live there with my wife so we decided to move to Nailsea where the cost of living is dramatically cheaper and I'm a lot happier here. It hurts leaving family and friends, but you can ways visit and vice versa. Don't be afraid to make this step, it may be the best thing you ever do!
Number 8 - Quit your job
As similar to number 7. If you're not happy where you work, quit. We spend most of our lives at work, so why waste your life in a job you hate? You wouldn't waste your time doing something you don't like outside of work would you? Don't let fear of rejection of sink to deep into your comfort zone. Never accept where you are as final. You can and deserve to be happy, go out there and achieve it!
Number 9 - Someone loves you
Someone out there loves you. I know when you're at your darkest hour and you honestly believe you're nothing and that you're just a burden to everyone. Although you can help this feeling as it's your incredible yet super complex brain sending the wrong chemicals. You need to use this knowledge that it's a biological issue that is going on in your mind and you must try to fight past it and know that there is someone that loves you, you mum, dad, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, grandma, grandpa, son, daughter, cousin, dog, cat, rat, fish, hamster, gerbil, a Twitter follower, a friend, someone at work, a complete stranger you have not met yet and most of all... You! You love yourself when your not feeling this way, so believe someone loves you and always will!
Number 10 - Have no regrets
My favourite quote of all time is "Never regret anything, because at one time it was exactly what you wanted" so if you dwell on past "mistakes" don't, at the time it was something you wanted to do, facing the same option today you may not make the same decision but that should only show how far you have come.
I hope this helps someone, somewhere. Please never feel inadequate or undeserving of happiness. You are amazing, continue being amazing.